ARCHIVE NOTICE: These records are fiction. The object is real.
The original intake form had a section for threat level and a section for affect.
Someone filled in friendly under threat level. No one corrected it.
Slice To Meet You was cataloged on a Thursday. By Friday, two analysts had rearranged their desks to face it. By Saturday, one of them had named it. The name they chose was not Slice To Meet You. That came from a different file, written by someone who had never seen the object and described it anyway with complete accuracy.
The grin is not painted. Imaging confirmed the pigmentation is structural. Whatever the expression is doing, it was decided before the object existed.
There is a note in the archive connecting this artifact to a prior contact event. The note references a landing. A wrong one. The note was written before the landing occurred. The filing date has been reviewed three times. The filing date is correct.
It passed inspection because nothing about it looked dangerous.
Nothing about it looks dangerous.
This has not changed.
